Fat Ninja

Personally, I was thrilled when Microsoft closed the deal and added Rare to “the Collective”. I was even more stoked when the dust settled and it was determined that the Perfect Dark franchise was considered the intellectual property of Rare, rather than that of their previous keepers, Nintendo. I saw it as another coup for the Xbox and the Xbox 360; something that would help secure Microsoft’s firm foothold in the Console Wars.

Fast-forward to the present, where I’ve just completed Perfect Dark Zero’s (PDZ) single-player campaign, and you’ll find a man who is somewhat dismayed with the results. Keep in mind that I’ve barely scratched the surface of PDZ’s online play, which I understand has really carried the game with professional reviewers (That is, people who write game reviews for their profession, not necessarily individuals in whose opinions I invest a lot of stock). So, with the understanding that I’ve not put much time into the online features, multiplayer will be omitted in this review.

I’ll be completely honest in telling you that having invested $49.99 into PDZ, there’s a part of me that wants to sugar-coat this sucker. Consider it my super-ego’s rebuff against my id. But facts are facts. PDZ was, for various reasons, a bit of a let down. That said, let’s take a look.

Givin’ em a real shellacking…

Graphically, PDZ has a very clean look to it. Every model in the game has smooth edges and looks incredibly detailed. Environments are large, and feature some great design values. So, PDZ is by no means an ugly game. However, it’s almost like they got done and said, “Okay, now bump-map everything, bump-map it again, and then bump-map the bump-mapping.” The result is a very plastic look and feel.

Texture-mapping on some of the male characters is so hyper-detailed that they remind me of characters from that old TV series Thunderbirds. Meanwhile, environmental textures all look ultra-slick, and by that I mean everything looks wet, or as if it recently had high-gloss, oil-based paint applied to it liberally.

The issue isn’t the use of bump-mapping, but rather the abuse of it. It works really well in some areas, such as on the weapon models, or on Joanna Dark’s hands. But, truly, these items should look that much more detailed given their proximity to the first-person perspective. My issue is that every single surface in the game, regardless of how near or far it is from you, looks like it’s been shelacked, and it just gives a very artificial aesthetic that I could do without.

I don’t need to be convinced that this is next-gen stuff. While the effect was initially very cool to look at, it just permeated the entire game to the extent that I felt I was being shown a front. It felt like I was being shown something to convince me that this truly was next-generation technology. Well, I saw these effects on the original Xbox, in Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory; and I can assure you that the team at Ubi Soft had a much better sense of subtlety and aesthetics, applying the effect in a minimalistic fashion where it was truly applicable. In short, I would have liked to have the bump-mapping taken down a notch. It’s just too prevalent to be ignored, and, like I said, I don’t need to be convinced that I’m dealing with next-gen technology.

Disengaging

Unfortunately, PDZ’s storyline didn’t really do much in the way of helping me overlook the graphical issues. The plot is convoluted at best. In fact, even as I try to relate it to you here, I can’t, simply for the fact that I don’t really know what happened. Something about corporations running the world, a virus/technology that grants incredible powers, and Joanna Dark being the one person that can stop it. And do not even get me started on the final boss battle. Truly, the story was just a mess, and it never managed to pull me in.

Reminscient of the Golden(eye) Age of Console shooters

PDZ’s one saving grace would have to be gameplay, however even that has some issues of its own, so I’ll get the complaints out of the way first. I’m not a huge fan of the touch-sensitive zoom feature. I like just being able to depress whatever button zooms in, and having that be the extent of it. I don’t need options on zoom capabilities, and I certainly don’t need them tied to how vigorously or weakly I apply pressure to the button that controls it. That and the lack of a jump are my only real complaints.

Other than that, PDZ plays a great deal like Rare’s previous first-person shooters on the Nintendo 64. In that respect, there’s a very nostalgic sense of entertainment that comes with it, triggering fond memories of many a Goldeneye tournament. Regretfully, this positive is simply overcome by the faults I mentioned previously.

Final Thoughts

There were a lot of things I wanted PDZ to be. I wanted it to be the Xbox 360’s Halo. I wanted it to be the game that got the guys at Crescendo back online and back to competitive gaming. I wanted it to really show me what next-generation gaming was all about. Unfortunately, it hasn’t met the challenge on any of these fronts. Visually, PDZ is just over-produced. In terms of storyline, PDZ feels hollow, leaving me to believe that the single-player is merely a vehicle for the online play. While gameplay is fairly solid, the overall presentation just feels a bit forced and contrived. Here’s hoping that the online play sings this one’s redemption song.

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