Fat Ninja

What follows here is an old poem. It was a number of things, chief among them my wedding proposal to Laura. I suppose it’s rather appropriate to post it on Valentine’s Day.

Of graces, virtues, I perhaps have none
Save the life of my unborn son.
In him I hope are things exempt in me;
In him I hope are things I have not been

I pray that courage calls his heart home
And that he’ll live life not for himself alone.
My son, though you do not hear these words
I write them here to be seen, not heard:

In my soul I do love you beyond measure
For you are a priceless gift to treasure.

And you, my Love, my dearest of souls;
You are my part, my peace, my whole.
You fill the void with love and meaning
You make real all of my dreaming.

Thinking now of things I’ve said and done
Is akin to the fear of never again seeing the sun,
And knowing that my darkness did eclipse its power;
That by my deeds I have doomed love’s flower.

I have truly thrown myself upon the sword
Becoming a thing once loved, now abhorred.

I have done you much ill of late
And I cannot but expect and understand your hate
Of me, my indecision, my cowardice…
Oh! To think I’ve let things come to this.

Such weakness, vanity and selfish pride
To keep these thoughts and feelings bottled up inside.
All you’ve ever asked is truth and honesty
Regarding the emotions that run rampant in me.

And here I’ve repaid you with more of the same
Leaving our hearts and souls rapt in pain.

Laura, I here profess to you my love and honest regret.
I shall strive to be all you deserve and repay my debt.
I hope to set things right once more;
To be for you what I was not before:

To be a man of honor and courage
And ask you for your hand in marriage.

And though I do not speak the words,
You shall hear them as you do see wings on birds.
With all my heart, spirit and soul
I cry to be with you, to be once more whole.

I only wish diction could better describe this love,
For it is a blessing descended from above.

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